Can Sunday Planning Reduce Family Stress And Confusion?

Who is waking the kids? Who is cooking breakfast? Are the lunches packed? Did I tell my spouse that I'm working out this morning? Does my family know that I have a late meeting today? Who is cooking dinner? When can I finally have a date night?

Maybe you have a system that is working for you but this type of morning confusion and chaos affects almost all families, especially families with small kids. Many partners seem to struggle with clear communication on how the week is going to be allocated and what the plan is. The result is assumptions, anxiety, disorganization, and sometimes the occasional fight. We are all guilty of having presumptions, hesitations, resistance and not asking for help. Single parents can also feel frustrated when they do not plan ahead of time, sometimes begging for last-minute favors from family, friends, neighbors, or babysitters who would have appreciated a heads-up.

If you agree and are looking for a change just as I did, there is a way to strategically plan for every day of the week (including nights and weekends) before the week even begins. It requires your time and attention on Sunday. Yes, Sunday. The sacred day of rest, or fun, or shall we say planning.

Sunday Planning

How to plan on Sunday primarily depends on your current lifestyle but let's focus on parents with school-aged children. No question, a lot is going on. How does one keep up? From drop-off to pick-up to after-school activities to dinner to homework and bedtime; it is a lot of things. Parents (and kids) should be on the same page every week. One of the benefits of planning your week ahead of time is that you are clear on who is responsible for what and when. Breakfasts, lunches, drop-offs, pick-ups, after-school activities, dinners, events, and travel are all discussed and allocated ahead of time. Sunday Planning is for parents who work full-time, part-time or stay at home. The workload is discussed on Sunday so it does not put the onus on just one person. Approach this as a business meeting where you plan out your responsibilities as a team.  

When To Plan Your Week

The time of day each Sunday to plan is a personal preference but mornings seem to work best because your mind is clear (hopefully). If not, schedule a time that works for you and your partner. No matter what you decide, you need to schedule it on your calendar every Sunday and set it to re-occur. If you are using a digital calendar, ask your partner to put it on their schedule or send them a calendar invite. Done!

How To Plan Your Week

Just with any meeting, there needs to be a format and agenda, although you can make it as casual or formal as you like or are accustomed to. Make sure you sit down prepared with your calendars open. The questions you ask are important. Below are some suggestions to address:

Are there any work-related commitments or travel planned?

Who is in charge of the kids each morning? (breakfast, drop-off, etc.)

Who is picking up the kids?

What after-school activities or sports do the kids have?

Are there any appointments for the kids (doctors)?

Who is cooking dinner?

When is date night?

What are the weekend plans?

Any other important dates or reminders?

It may be easier if you write the questions down ahead of time in a format that you can use over and over again, covering each day of the week. Start with Monday and finish with Sunday.

Flexibility In Schedule Changes

As with any meeting, there are always topics that remain unanswered either due to timing, follow-up needed, or schedule changes. If there was something left on the table, revisit it via email or text so that you are clear before the day approaches. Weekend plans may need some research, connection with friends, reservations, etc. before they can be confirmed. Just make sure to follow up and assign who takes the lead.

Other Topics Beyond Scheduling

You may be tempted to add other topics that are important to you but make sure that you finish your planning first before moving on to any other conversations such as vacations, renovating the house, career development, or financial planning. Remember that some discussions are appropriate for Sundays and others may not be, depending on how serious it is. And make sure that there is "buy-in" from both sides before adding more time.

Involve the Kids

Sometimes your curious kids witness this Sunday Planning and want their ideas or topics addressed. A family meeting perhaps? Sure! Invite them in at the end but make sure that they have their talking points ahead of time so that they can be part of the meeting. The more involved the kids are in planning your family events the greater the reward for all. It is also an amazing way to learn what motivates your child and their interests. You may be surprised at what priorities are important to them.

 Next Steps

1.  Schedule your first Sunday Planning meeting

2.  Develop a template or agenda to use every Sunday

3.  Remember to follow up during the week if the schedule changes

4.  Involve the kids

5.  Add additional planning time (vacations, home renovations, financial planning) as needed

You can easily develop an agenda using your computer or look for one online. If you need a head start with a template I use for Sunday Planning, try this one that I created.